


If Wishes Were Horses

by ashinan



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Character Death, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-11
Updated: 2012-03-11
Packaged: 2017-11-01 18:51:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/360088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashinan/pseuds/ashinan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A high whine starts in Steve’s ears and he realizes it’s <i>Tony</i>, screaming, screaming, tearing apart at the seams while the street shatters in its silence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Wishes Were Horses

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really, _really_ sorry.

It shouldn’t happen like it does, but Tony is already being stupid and protecting them all, keeping a shield around the group as Clint tries to stop Natasha from bleeding to death and Thor handles an unconscious Bruce. Steve is right up against Tony’s back, arm shattered in at least three places, and Tony is  _shaking_ , he can feel it through the suit. Tony is whispering under his breath, schematics, and numbers, and  _possibilities_ , and by the time Steve realizes that Tony is thinking of annihilating himself to save them, it’s too late to stop him.

Tony breathes out, releases the force field, and glows  _blue_. Steve watches as light gathers and crackles at his chest, and Tony shouts, “Fuck it, fire everything!” and the entire street shakes with the force of the beam. A high whine starts in Steve’s ears and he realizes it’s  _Tony_ , screaming, screaming, and Steve grabs at his back, tries to hold onto him, and the street settles, their enemy obliterated.

Slumping forward, held only by Steve’s arms, Tony’s suit smokes and Steve scrambles to get him out of it. His ears are still ringing with the sound of Tony’s scream, and he wrenches Tony’s helmet off, catches the splash of thick blood bubbling on Tony’s lips, and panics.

“Tony, Tony, no, come on, don’t do this,” Steve says, fighting with the side handle. The armour starts dropping away, some pieces sticking, and Tony’s body is a  _mess_ , ribs sooty with char marks and Steve shouldn’t be able to see those. The shattered skin around his stomach shows something glistening, and Steve tries not to retch. The arc reactor is a dull gleam of metal, a twisted eye plunged into the depths of Tony’s chest, and Steve’s hands are shaking as he pushes back Tony’s hair. He realizes he can’t feel the texture, and tugs off his glove with shaking hands. Tony coughs again, blood a thick splash on the white of his cheek, and the last of the armour falls away from his arms.

“Hold on, okay? You can do it. Hold on,” Steve says, looking around frantically. The street is silent.

“Steve –” Tony chokes, his fingers twitching against his side. Steve gathers up his hand, holds it to his lips, and shakes his head.

“Come on, no, it’s fine, look you’ll be fine. Everything is great; you defeated it, Tony! You took it down and no one was hurt, no, no, don’t close your eyes.” Steve reaches out, taps against Tony’s cheek and Tony peers at him blearily, smiling with bloodied teeth.

“Good,” Tony says, and then closes his eyes again.

Steve feels it, when Tony’s last breath shudders past his lips on a final bubble of blood. He stares, his mind unable to understand, and then he’s screaming, loud enough to shatter any semblance of quiet the street had, to mask the sound of the ambulance arriving, and to warn off the others from approaching him. He curls his arms around Tony’s shoulders, catches his face against Tony’s neck, and keeps screaming.

 

Pressing the flowers to Tony’s grave is the second hardest thing Steve has ever had to do. He kneels on the sodden ground, fingers tap-tap-tapping out Tony’s familiar rhythm on his thigh, and breathes out in the cold air.

“I wish it had been me.”


End file.
